My Truest Holy Hour

My Truest Holy Hour
 
(We are) always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our body. (2 Cor 4:10)
 
O Jesus, you want to continue Your sufferings in me for my own salvation and that of the whole world, and for the glory of your Father. By my sufferings and agony, You want to fill up what is wanting in Your sufferings for your Body, which is the Church. And so I shall receive in my life again and again a share in your agony in the Garden of Olives, a very small share, but nevertheless a real one. My “holy hours”, those hours when I honor Your agony in the Garden of Olives, will be made in the truest sense not during the peaceful hours of pious devotions in church. My real “holy hours” are those hours when sufferings of body and soul come to overwhelm me. Those hours when God hands me the chalice of suffering. Those hours when I weep for my sins. Those hours when I call out to Your Father, O Jesus, and do not seem to be heard. Those hours when faith is agonizingly difficult, hope seems to be giving way to despair, and love seems to have died in my heart. They are the real “holy hours” in my life, those hours when Your grace working in my heart draws me mysteriously into Your agony in the garden. When those hours come upon me, o Lord, have mercy on me.
 
Give me grace to say “yes, “yes” to even the most bitter hours, “yes” to everything, for everything that happens in those hours, even what results from my own guilt, is the will of Him Who is eternal love. May He be blessed forever. 

Karl Rahner, Watch and Pray with Me